Fork Off

The other day I was eating and thinking about a plan for my sister to come over that evening and a piece of food fell out of my mouth. For most people that probably would have meant nothing but it made my brain go off on a tangent about etiquette. I eat so rarely around people anymore that I forget my manners.

This made me then start thinking about who got to decide what constituted good manners. Who said the napkin should be dabbed not wiped? Who said you never put your elbows on a table? Then of course there’s the fork debate!

This reminded me of a story that I may or may not have documented before. I was out of town for business and having dinner with a bunch of work folk from different countries. One of them was a terribly arrogant man who said something to the effect of You Terrible Americans and your inability to use a fork correctly, with such disdain dripping from his voice. I immediately started using my fork to shovel huge amounts of food into my mouth of course. What I really should have said was – Are you f’ing kidding me??? Look at the fork?? The shape tells you how to use it. It’s not Americans fault you guys were too backwards to figure it out!

I’m exhausted!! I went out to do some yard work and got about 30 minutes in and my body said STOP! STOP RIGHT NOW! So I did. I will finish tomorrow hopefully.

You may now return to your day.