Tithe or ………

I may have talked about this years ago but it came up again so I will talk again. I was poor, hard scrabble, rolling pennies, going without kind of poor, for a long time. I’m not good at poor, but we did what we had to do. My kids didn’t go hungry but they sure didn’t have much extra.

I don’t know if it was something I read, or something that just developed in my brain organically but I started noticing that people who didn’t have money acted differently that people who did have money. In the current vernacular you would say that they always acted thirsty. Always looking for something. I started noticing my own behavior and began eliminating the behaviors that I didn’t like. I started acting like I had more money than I needed. I also started telling myself “I have more than I will ever need”. I repeated that sentence like a mantra. While those words were reverberating in my head I thought about all the people who didn’t have food, who didn’t have a secure roof over their heads. Who didn’t have options.

I very quickly started noticing changes in myself. I started being so much more grateful for what I had and as that happened I stopped wanting some things. I also became more generous. I gave what I could, when I could and never expected something in return, and whenever possible I did it anonymously.

Our circumstances started changing. New jobs, new incomes, loans started getting paid off. A more spiritual person would say the universe took care of us, but honestly I think it was mostly just coincidence mixed in with a little attitude adjustment. When you believe that you have enough, you don’t feel the need to spend as soon as you get extra money. When you lose that grasping attitude people react to you differently and other opportunities present themselves.

Things are different now because of our collection of diseases, but still, we have so much more than other people. I still give whenever I can, and I would rather give a gift to someone else than buy something for myself, but I am a little more cognizant of my own lack of income again.

I guess my whole point here was that if you spend more time thinking about others, and taking care of people with no expectation of reciprocity you will be happier and more content in your life.

Sometimes you just need a picture.


  • Nina

    February 12, 2020 at 2:17 pm Reply

    I think it is the universe providing what we need. The more we give the more we receive and I’m not just talking about financially!

    • tlm0000

      February 12, 2020 at 2:25 pm Reply

      One of the things I am terrible at is sharing myself. My real self. I am much better than I used to be but I struggle with it.

  • tlm0000

    February 12, 2020 at 2:30 pm Reply

    Though…I was just reminded of something. There was someone that I helped out in a variety of ways over a period of time. And they always said they would do things as a thank you and never did. Which was fine, since I had no expectation. But then a while later, maybe years?? They were telling me how another mutual friend helped them out, at about the same time, and how wonderful that friend was for the thing that they did. It just struck a really bad note. So, my ego does occasionally get a little bruising in my quest to be a better person. 🙂

    • Tj

      February 12, 2020 at 3:29 pm Reply

      When you go out of your way to help someone, even without expectation, it’s still disheartening to feel like it wasn’t appreciated or that it was taken for granted. We had helped a family anonymously a few times and the one time we actually showed up at their house with a car full of groceries for them, (long story, there were kids, an illness an inability to get to a store…) we’d just unloaded them and a truck pulled up and the wife ran out to do her drug deal. She made an excuse but it was so obvious. I didn’t regret knowing the kids would eat but…it does kind of take the wind out of your sails.

      • tlm0000

        February 12, 2020 at 3:49 pm Reply


  • TJ

    February 12, 2020 at 3:00 pm Reply

    I truly believe your thoughts can change your world. It was really front and center working for Head Start. The people who made the most of what they had were different. You knew they’d be out of the hood at some point. The whiners settled into their resentment and anger as a way of life. It was often hard to watch. Because as much as you’d try and hope, to help a good hearted sweet little boy, you’d wonder what chance he had. Not because of finances, because of attitude he was learning.
    In my own family, my husband when he was young would say things like, just for example, “must be nice, we can’t afford a vacation”. It came from his family. They couldn’t “Afford” anything. But there was always money to party. It annoyed me and I would say, “well we could afford it if we wanted to. We’re CHOOSING to spend our money on building a porch or paying the electric bill instead”. Learned behavior is a thing. But change is always possible and Attitude is everything.

    • tlm0000

      February 12, 2020 at 3:49 pm Reply

      Gee, why am I not surprised that my little circle of friends all think the same as me. 🙂

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