Sorry

Sometimes I am amazed at what a terrible person I really am.

I remember being somewhere with a bunch of people, most were acquaintances plus a couple of friends and a few strangers, it was a birthday thing for someone and some people who were friends were being nasty about other people. Just biting humor for fun at someone else’s expense. Not my favorite thing. I must have had a look on my face because the ringleader laughed and said something like “oh, we’re shocking Tracy, she’s so nice and we’re so horrible”. And I remember thinking, yes, that’s true. But in reality I was thinking terrible things about her, I just wasn’t saying them out loud for a laugh, so really I was just as bad as she was.

I have had a lot of mean thoughts about people recently. It makes me feel bad.