I was thinking this morning about people who speak other languages fluently and perhaps English not as well. In my experience they always apologize for their less than perfect English even though they speak correctly, and frankly better than a lot of people who grew up with English as their first language.
On the internet when people type in English even though their primary language is something else, invariably someone will correct them and frequently make a comment that implies that the original poster is not very intelligent. Which is probably not true because only one of those people has the ability to learn an entirely new language!
I have been guilty of this in my real life and was reminded of someone this morning that I did not realize was really smart because they did not have the correct language tools in English to “sound smart”. Bad Tracy.
All this to say do not assume someone is less intelligent than you just because they do not type correctly or speak your language correctly.
Also – as a side note – I posted a funny little meme today about judging people based on looks and it is always a good reminder for me.
I have tried in the last couple of years to never comment on someone elses appearance unless they are asking for an opinion i.e. Look at my new hair color what do you think?
Sometimes it is difficult for me because I also taught myself many years ago that if I see something I say something. I am that person in a restaurant who will stop and say I love your glasses, or your sweater, and somehow that turned into telling people on the internet my opinion on their facade. (Can it be a facade if it is a person and not a building?)
itsmemb
February 12, 2023 at 5:36 pmOne of the best compliments I ever received was just some random woman walking up to me while I was walking with Craig and the kids and she said how much she loved my hair. One of the most uncomfortable “compliments” I ever received was from a random woman who complimented my nails but it made me feel really uncomfortable because they actually looked really gnarly.
Craig introduced me to woman’s compliment vs men’s compliments through a clip from family guy. A lot of times a compliment from one woman to another woman is loaded. Family Guy Woman vs Men Friendship. Like that beautiful dress makes your chunky legs look better.
Re Facade From Google From Oxford Langauges
fa·cade
/fəˈsäd/
Learn to pronounce
noun
noun: facade; plural noun: facades; noun: façade; plural noun: façades
the face of a building, especially the principal front that looks onto a street or open space.
an outward appearance that is maintained to conceal a less pleasant or creditable reality.
“her flawless public facade masked private despair”
I have to remind myself when I hear someone speaking English as a second or third or fourth language, that I only speak one language and I’m not even great at the only language that I speak.
When I was in college, one of my floormates was German. When she wanted to learn Italian, she signed up to go to Italy as an exchange student. She didn’t any Italian and the family she lived with didn’t speak any German. Wow! But she learned Italian that way.
Tracy
February 12, 2023 at 6:01 pmI think with a lot of people you can really feel the sincerity in a compliment, but at the same time you can really feel when they’re being insincere. It’s harder in print though.