Oh and here should be a second title
Sometimes I enjoy writing when I am not quite awake. When my brain is not putting up guards and my internal voice is not correcting every I say.
Today is Boniva day so I am just now sipping my first cup of coffee. This week includes nausea inducing chemo yesterday, nausea inducing Boniva today and super nausea inducing Redi-Cat on Friday so you can expect either much whining or much silence.
The other day my son-in-law posted this on his social media. It was like a gut punch. All the memories come flooding in and you feel that same physical reaction as you did as a child.
This is an exact description of how my sister and I grew up. I remember the panic when you realized mom was about to come home. At almost 60 years old I can feel that feeling in my chest and stomach.
I do not blame my mother at all. She was raising small children the way she had been taught to raise children. When I became an adult she became a completely different person to me. I do not think I raised my children this way but I absolutely see the other ways in which my personality was molded, none of them in a way I like.
And that is all I have to day about that!
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