$#!%!@!!!!

Something made me angry right before I went to bed. It was just a small online interaction but it touched on something that has been bothering me about the world. Then I woke up after a restless night and a dream of chaos. Just 100 things all happening at once to interfere with taking care of business, which is for me a nightmare!

Not finishing something I have committed to because of outside factors will drive me up a wall!

I also realized I am a little more anxious about a scan on Wednesday than I realized. This is why.
I have a swelling near my neck. It is actually on my neck /shoulder/clavicle (I will probably make an illustration to insert here)

This is a normal problem area for me. Many decades ago I was diagnosed with Thoriacic Outlet Syndrome which is among the stupidest things EVER to be diagnosed with. This causes me all sorts of shoulder and neck problems. This is why I get massages every few months to pull the muscles back into a semblance of normalcy. My massages are not nice pampering massages. Insert awesome applause for the Amazing Hannah!

A couple of months ago my shoulder on that side started hurting and shortly afterwards I noticed this weird swelling/mass. Now I have a lost a bunch of mobility in my shoulder. I went to both the oncologist and the orthopedist last week. My oncologist adjusted the order for my regularly scheduled CT to go up a few inches and cover my neck and he also ordered an ultrasound of my port which is the same area. The orthopedist gave me a shot of steroids into my shoulders and a bunch of p/t for rotation cuff strain. He also made me run through a whole bunch of motion to see what I could do. I was startled by how much I couldn’t do. It’s a weird sensation. It just doesn’t move the right way anymore.

I know what will probably happen is a whole bunch of nothing. Nothing will be conclusive and I will just be stiff and sore for months while I slowly work on stretching and releasing those muscles. But apparently my subconscious thinks well maybe it is something else hiding under there causing this? So I will be relieved to get the results and move on with just whining about not being able to rotate my arm and that my V for victory

is now an L for Loser.

So now you all have been warned. I have a few errands to run like picking up the oh so tasty redicat so if you see me out and about just smile and move on, don’t risk it.