Something made me angry right before I went to bed. It was just a small online interaction but it touched on something that has been bothering me about the world. Then I woke up after a restless night and a dream of chaos. Just 100 things all happening at once to interfere with taking care of business, which is for me a nightmare!

Not finishing something I have committed to because of outside factors will drive me up a wall!

I also realized I am a little more anxious about a scan on Wednesday than I realized. This is why.
I have a swelling near my neck. It is actually on my neck /shoulder/clavicle (I will probably make an illustration to insert here)

This is a normal problem area for me. Many decades ago I was diagnosed with Thoriacic Outlet Syndrome which is among the stupidest things EVER to be diagnosed with. This causes me all sorts of shoulder and neck problems. This is why I get massages every few months to pull the muscles back into a semblance of normalcy. My massages are not nice pampering massages. Insert awesome applause for the Amazing Hannah!

A couple of months ago my shoulder on that side started hurting and shortly afterwards I noticed this weird swelling/mass. Now I have a lost a bunch of mobility in my shoulder. I went to both the oncologist and the orthopedist last week. My oncologist adjusted the order for my regularly scheduled CT to go up a few inches and cover my neck and he also ordered an ultrasound of my port which is the same area. The orthopedist gave me a shot of steroids into my shoulders and a bunch of p/t for rotation cuff strain. He also made me run through a whole bunch of motion to see what I could do. I was startled by how much I couldn’t do. It’s a weird sensation. It just doesn’t move the right way anymore.

I know what will probably happen is a whole bunch of nothing. Nothing will be conclusive and I will just be stiff and sore for months while I slowly work on stretching and releasing those muscles. But apparently my subconscious thinks well maybe it is something else hiding under there causing this? So I will be relieved to get the results and move on with just whining about not being able to rotate my arm and that my V for victory

is now an L for Loser.

So now you all have been warned. I have a few errands to run like picking up the oh so tasty redicat so if you see me out and about just smile and move on, don’t risk it.


  • Nina

    January 13, 2020 at 1:43 pm Reply

    And it will be berry..not the good banana. I’m guessing that because of everything you have experienced and gone through there is always something that can be done to fix it but you are just sick of the full time career of fixing….and my initial thought was modern medicine and your tenacity have kept you, well, alive but the body has had a lot of intrusions and it’s these medical Pokes in your body causing the complications. Nothing mind boggling here just the way my mind is working so early in my morning.

  • Nina

    January 13, 2020 at 1:45 pm Reply

    Trying to write medical pokes in autocorrected to Pokémon twice…that irritated me and my day begins 🤨

    • tlm0000

      January 13, 2020 at 1:47 pm Reply


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