I get a CTScan every three months. It’s a requirement, along with an echocardiogram of the chemo med I am on. Thankfully technology allows me to see the results as soon as they are read.
Normally I get my CT’s early in the day and the results are listed within a few hours. Yesterday’s CT was done at 6pm after the Dr had gone home so I expect I will see them 11am ish. I only feel mild anxiety about the CT Scans. I do what I can to keep the cancer at bay. If it comes back, I have no more control over that than I do over many other things in life. So I prepare and think about it, and then wait.
BUT today is a weird anniversary for me. In my calendars I have it listed as “The Day that Everything Changed” because there is nothing in my life that was not affected. In 2011 the best PCP in the ENTIRE WORLD had to call me and say “they found cancer”.
Ten years is a big deal with cancer. if I had gone the whole 10 years without recurrence I would be considered cured. But, sadly I’ve had a couple of reoccurrences.
Anyway….. do I do anything to celebrate? No. To mark the date, no not really,
Just reflect for a few moments on the changes in my life since then and smile.
So many people brought into my life just because of having a mutated cell that didn’t die when it was supposed to. Instead it replicated and became the blueprint for a bunch of other cells that just kept going.
Look at all that it has brought me. I am 100X stronger mentally than I was. I am 100X more confident and have given myself permission to just be myself, and let my own personal philosophy radiate out.
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