Out of sequence

This should really be written as part of a larger post but I want to get these thoughts down before I lose the feeling of it.

I am sitting in my hotel after the women’s cancer camp getting back to my own equilibrium. Right before I left camp I was discussing with someone (Hi sandy) how camp made her feel accepted and not self-conscious.

In many ways camp actually makes me more self conscious and feeling out of the group! I’m not actually sure it’s a bad thing. I think I am far more honest and myself at camp in some ways, and my real self has more selfconsciousness and ever present FOMO than I allow in my real life.

I could not function day to day if I was worrying about how people thought of me and whether people liked me.

Strange realization.