Let’s talk about pain

Oh…afterI typed that I had a flashback to something else. A couple of years ago an amazing LMT (among other things) was helping me with my hip pain and at one point she had her hand on my hip and she said something like “you must always be in pain” and I BURST into tears, and said I AM! I can’t remember the last time something didn’t hurt. I feel like I talk about it all the time. But here I go again.

So a very very long time ago I had the still to this day worst pain I’ve ever had and after a whole set of stupid stupid appointments I was diagnosed with Thoracic Outlet Syndome. I made the choice to not continue with treatment because the only option they offered me was debilitating surgery and I just couldn’t.

So, last year I suddenly lost movement in my shoulder and I did not think it was related. I had tests and once again was told my favorite thing ever – yup – there’s a problem. No real solution for you. Just inflamed tendons in my shoulder restricting movement. So I’ve been just dealing with it. My orthopedist implied that it probably did have to do with my TOS but I dismissed that as a lazy answer. I joined a facebook group for TOS and suddenly ran across all my symptoms in one place. One of the things that went bad when my shoulder went last year was permanent numbness in two fingers that used to have intermittent numbness. Now I have added a third finger, which is also the only finger I have pronounced arthritis in.

All this to say – this morning I woke up and almost my whole hand is numb so today is heat/ice alternation day to see if I can get some blood flow back. It is SO aggravating!!!

I’m still not going to get treatment for the TOS because still the only real options are surgeries and I am too old and too slow healing to ever do that, and P/T which at this point I could probably consult on for other people, so no. So I will just continue to complain and bitch and not be able to move my arm like a normal person. I just keep thinking at some point it will at least go back to where I was a year ago. Uhg.